The aim of this chapter is to contribute to the debate on deconstructing the gender binary, toexplore notions of experiencing shame and violence, and also to identify key points of self-concept... Show moreThe aim of this chapter is to contribute to the debate on deconstructing the gender binary, toexplore notions of experiencing shame and violence, and also to identify key points of self-concept ingenderqueer people, by running a survey in three different countries: Greece, the UK and the Netherlands.The survey is the first to explore the impact of this gender- binary discourse and the experience of shameand violence within this frame, within the genderaqueer community in a comparative perspective. Thechapter contributes to the debate on perceptions of masculinity and femininity in association with shameand violence, while reconnoitring the role of culture as a driver of these perceptions and how that role leadsto the re-evaluation of the self along with the sense and impact of shame as a relational process with the self and the society. The survey approaches shame and violence, not only in terms of how they are perceived by the genderqueer community, but also of how they are expressed, e.g. in a passive way (directed violence against a person) or active way (person as actor engaging in violent behaviour) in everyday life. The application of different perspectives on confronting the binary, power and shame provides a critical take on the gender-based debate and on the crux of self-concept and identifies breaks with existing thinking and practice that are essential to any reform of gender recognition policy. Show less